God!!! Why do you even HAVE a blog??????

Yeah, I know that's what you're thinking. So, sign up for Google Reader and move on with your life.

Jenna has "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5 stuck in her head. It's kind of cute, kind of irritating. Too bad their show in the Cities is sold out. I would almost take her to see them.

We went and met Lydia's teacher last night. I swear, if I could ride along to school with Lydia and spend the day in her pocket, I totally would. What is wrong with me? I control everything! EVERYTHING I TELL YOU!!!!

The meeting with the teacher went fine - she's your typically warm, smily educator with a Dorothy Hamill haircut. I was so nervous for Lydia to introduce herself to her, though. Last year, we paraded her in front of the teacher, and instead of a demure smile and maybe a handshake, she gives the teacher a full-on samurai bow - hands folded, bent in half at the waist. And if you expect me to believe that that little stunt didn't set a particular "tone" for the year, you're nuts.

This year's teacher announced that this will be her last year of teaching. Her swan song, if you will. Let's just hope she doesn't decide to take our daughter down with her. Does anyone know a smooth way to word an email to a teacher that basically says, "I know my kid might act like a shit sometimes, and be a little sarcastic, but those are just coping mechanisms because inside she's really sensitive and self-conscious like her mother, so if you could look past all of that and see the beautiful creature that is INDEED inside, that'd be great. K? Thanks. Bye."? If my readership could draft up something and email me the template, that would ALSO be great. I'd like to see something by the end of September, please.

When we left the open house, I congratulated Lydia on the nice job she did and also came clean that 2nd grade was a little tough for me since that was the year that I was really into stealing stuff. (I like to tell stories like that to the kids, I think it makes me seem more "real" to them.) Shell shared with us that he went to the store with his uncle (alcoholic) one time against his parents wishes, and the uncle stuffed a bunch of stuff in Little Shell's pockets. The police stopped them, and the uncle bailed. Shell and his friend apparently got in trouble with the police, and then he got a chinga from his mom and dad for hanging out with the bad uncle (alcoholic). Lydia was suitably impressed with both stories, but in the end decided that daddy's story was a little better because he went on to tell her that the uncle (alcoholic) was a poor example for his own kids, and 2 of them have since died (drug overdose, suicide). Apparently, she felt his story had more grit to it. She's so dark sometimes.

This weekend we're headed to the lake. I don't think we've been up there since some time in July. We're bringing a whole watermelon and a cousin to occupy the girls - the rest we'll figure out when we get there. I'm hoping a little of this. Possibly some of this, if the weather cooperates.